Mi Primer Amigo
My First Friend
by Jose
(with a drawing by M.)

It's funny, I didn't think of him until today and now that I remenber him I feel so lonely.........

Thanks to the Niklas website for giving me the courage to make me remenber the past, and not only the good things. The bad things too, that is what makes me stronger.

I had not many friends and not real good friends, but after this thing happened the word friendship became more important to me that anything in the world.

I was never very pretty but the grown-ups always said to me that I was cute, I was very chubby and I don´t know why I feel bad about that, my parents had to work all the day, so most of the time I was alone in the building where we lived. Believe me, to live in a big city is always a nightmare for a kid and for me it was terrible. Until I met him.

My first day in school in 3rd grade I was 8 or 9 and like always I was very nervous (the first day on something always put me like that). I didn´t talk to anybody and just took my seat in a corner and began to think. Then I saw him, he was the cutest boy I'd ever seen, he was skinny (well for me he was the skinniest boy I'd ever seen), he had beautiful black eyes, a button nose and the funniest voice I ever heard, like he was some kind of cartoon figure, and in the moment I first saw him, I had a strange feeling in my stomach, I wanted to talk with him but I didn´t know what to say and that made me freeze on my chair, then sudenly our teacher came and introduced the new boy, his name was Dimas, he had a nice haircut, a bit like a mushroom, and when I heard his name I promised myself that I had to talk to him. To my surprise our teacher sat Dimas just next to me, and he was the first one who talked to me in 3rd grade.

- Hi, I'm Dimas, what's your name? - he asked me with a smile on his face.

- I'm Jose - I just said (oh boy, I was so stupid, now he'd probably think I didn't like him)

To my surprise me and him became best friends. We were always together talking in a recess, walking, making jokes and telling everything, and soon two other good friends joined us. One of the kids name was Alex, he was really thin with dark skin, and he usually cried for everything; the other pal's name was Josue, a cute kid with big teeth.

I always felt like I could do anything with them by my side, when these 3 kids were around me.

- Did you ever kiss a girl? - Dimas asked me one day in the recess.

- Sure, I've kissed girls plenty of times.

- No, I mean real kisses, like in soap operas.

- Well, I ...I'm not sure - I said a little nervous.

I'm not sure what he meant with this question, if he liked to kiss somebody but didn't want to tell me who? Or why?

The days passed and one day I was playing soccer with the school team and the ball hit me in the face. Oh! Man, that really hurt a lot...... Immediately I quit playing soccer forever, but Dimas always tried to make me play with him again, he always tried to help me and cheer me up.

One day when I was about 9 I was in bed and had the strangest dream ever: I was on the school yard with Dimas and we were talking and walking, suddenly he kissed me and hugged me real tight and for a moment I thought this wasn't a dream, that it was just real....but it was only a dream, when I woke up, I remembered the dream and the funny feeling that I had when I first met him, and I came to a conclusion.

- Oh my god I am in love!!!

Of course I came to this conclusion years later.........

Dimas and meThe next day I had the bad idea to tell Dimas my dream. He looked at me a little blushed and surprised and said to me:

- I had the same dream about you, but don't tell anybody, 'kay?

- Oh, o.k. - I said a little surprised and confused.

About two hours later on the same day I went to the bathroom because a had to take a leak and I saw Dimas there waiting for me.

- I'm gonna ask you something and it's something important so you don't gonna tell anybody, okay?

- Okay

- I have a huge crush on somebody - he said a little blushed.

- Really? And who is it? - I asked a little nervous thinking of my feelings for this cute kid and the other feelings that I had.

- I like Rocío - he said to me.

Rocío was a really beautiful girl, everybody at school was in love with her, and I was relieved that we didn't share more than a dream, a dream that in that moment I thought was a stupid one.

With him I felt good, I felt being alive, and I think that he felt the same about me but all the good things have to end someday.

One day when we were in 5th grade he said that it was quite possible that he'd move to another city because his dad was going to get promoted. When I heard that I felt terrible, I'd never see my friend again.

- Does that mean I'll never see you again? - I asked Dimas rather sad.

- Well, no I can come here from time to time to visit you - he said to me with a smile.

I tried to smile too, but I just began to cry. I didn't want to lose my best friend. When he saw this, he hugged me and tried to make me feel better.

- Calm down, Jose, I always gonna be with you, if you remenber the good time we had we'll always be together - he said to me and gently kissed my cheek.

A few months later I heard that he moved away and I never saw him again. Of course, I have other friends but I'll always miss my first friend... my first love and my first goodbye.

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